Dear Lisi: I am in grade eight and confused about the whole LGBTQ+ movement. But I’m probably not confused the way you think I’m confused.
I’m confused as to why everyone is making such a big deal about it.
I understand that in my great-grandmother’s day no one discussed their sexuality. My grandmother was pretty cool and she seemed to know when people were not ready to tell the world who they were. She even called my cousin aside when he was a teenager and told him that if he ever wanted to talk about being gay, she was happy to talk with him, and would keep his secret. He didn’t come out until his 35th birthday! But his parents were not OK with it.
Even my mom’s generation is different than mine. They seem to have an understanding that people can love who they want, and they just don’t pay much attention. But the generation between me and my mom, basically my teachers, talk about it all the time. It’s too much!
My generation doesn’t care. Do what you want, be who you want. My friends and I aren’t even into all that stuff yet, anyway. Why talk to us about it every day?
How do I tell my teachers to move on. We get it.
No such thing as normal
You are a very bright young person. You’ve opened my eyes to how the generations have changed in their thinking. I agree with you, actually. The people I know who are under 20 don’t seem to care at all if their friends are dating people of the opposite sex, same sex, or if they identify as non-binary. It’s commonplace for them and no big deal. One teenager told me his mom explained it as milk — when all we ever had was regular and skim. Now there’s oat, almond, soy, lactose-free, etc. No one cares. It’s not different. It just is.
I couldn’t agree more. Live and let live.
Dear Lisi: My best friend’s mom looks pregnant, but isn’t. Everyone always asks her when the baby is due and she gets really mad. But she has a really big belly.
My best friend is embarrassed but also feels bad for her mom. How can she help her mom not look pregnant anymore?
Baby Bump
People’s bodies change over the course of their lifetime. Women seem to fluctuate more than men as they grow up, become adults and then through the aging process.
With pregnancy comes more change, post-pregnancy even more change. Change occurs with menopause, and then as we age even more.
Diet and exercise have a lot to do with body shape, as does genetics. Your friend’s mom would benefit from seeing her doctor to check if there are any health changes she needs to be aware of. And then maybe a nutritionist or dietician could help her. She may have some new food intolerances she’s unaware of as well.
Tell your friend to tell her mom that she’s worried about her and wants to help her. Then your friend can give her the advice I suggested. She could offer her support any way she feels comfortable.
Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are advice columnists for the Star and based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions via email: [email protected] or [email protected]
