The way people eat corn can tell you a heck of a lot about them.
Really. Forget personality tests. If you really want to know more about that gal who is new to your office, ask her over - and serve
her corn. Chances are, you'll learn a lot.
At this time of year, of course, everyone's devouring it. Boiled, barbecued or cooked upon the camp stove, corn's on the top of the menu in August. And I've been watching people enjoy it.
Let's just say that all is not uniform when it comes to corn-eating style. As I've observed it, folks do not eat corn the way they eat, say, Cheerios, which tends to follow a standard protocol. (Place cereal in bowl, add milk and direct to the mouth via a spoon. Repeat.) Some people, for instance, chow down on their corn in a linear pattern, a single row at a time, one end to the other. These, I imagine, are the type of people who have lists, and happily cross items off them, only to create them once again.
Then there are the circular corn eaters. You know.
They're not end to end, but round and round. Again, organized folk, not linear types, but thoughtful nonetheless, the kind who like to deal with one task before embarking on another.
And then, by golly, there are the willy nillies. A rarer type, they go about their corn consumption with no apparent plan in place. They'll take a bite here, a bite there, first on one side, then the other.
They are, I reckon, the type who tackle crossword puzzles, not by working their way across and then down, but by random clue selection. First a 15 down, say, then a 62 across, then over to 25 down.
They are, I'm sure, the types who mow their lawns, not front to back or side to side or on the diagonal, but wherever the impulse hits them. A bit in the front, a bit in the back, a bit beneath the apple tree.
When grocery shopping, the corn-consuming willy nillies do not tackle the job the way most people do, by moving from section to section. They won't do the produce in a single visit. Oh no. They'll get some apples, then some milk, then go for the bananas, then back to the dairy for yogurt.
As I say, you can tell a lot about people by how they eat corn.
I've always been a linear type. Anything else would give me the willies.
