It’s almost like we are allergic to repentance and forgiveness. Think about it? When was the last time someone came to you and simply said “I was wrong, please forgive me?”
Recently I received an apology from someone in our church, the email began with, “I might have been a little harsh... I had a bad week…” In later communication, the person referenced their apology. I was left with a question…“When did they apologize?” When they said “I might have…” followed by an excuse? I’m sorry but that is no apology.
In today’s society these are the phrases we use to apologize: “I’m sorry if I hurt you, but..” or “I know I shouldn’t have done that, but you shouldn’t have…” or “I wouldn’t have done that if you…” These are not apologies.
This is important because when we apologize, we align ourselves with God’s truth. 1 John 1:8-10, it says, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” In other words, forgiveness is available, but it does require asking for forgiveness without excuses and then a willingness to forgive.
Our communities have seen more broken relationships over the last two years than ever before because of disagreements over politics and COVID. We counsel broken families and we often ask ourselves, “Why don’t they just ask for forgiveness?” Why is there a refusal to repent?
In Proverbs 28:13. God says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Let’s run to mercy and to true repentance. So we need to change our understanding of an apology.
The Peacemaker by Ken Sande’s, is an excellent book to read and will help you change your excuses into an apology.
Repentance is freedom! You are not responsible for the other individual's response or forgiveness. They may never forgive you, but when you have done your part in navigating what true repentance looks like, you have followed the way of God. That’s a good thing. My hope is that your broken relationships will be restored because of your actions. It’s worth it. They are worth it.
